Own It!

I had the opportunity to spend the day recently at a Women’s Council of Realtors® event. I was supporting my friend Cheryl Keller who was being installed as President for California. I also had the privilege to speak on a leadership panel with some amazing women. It is important to note that all of these women were on their time, not getting paid. They wanted more than just a real estate career; they wanted to be together and joined to connect. Being installed at the President level takes years of commitment and selfless dedication. These women are either business owners or 100% commissioned Realtors®, so when they take time from real estate to be a part of Women’s Council of Realtors® one would think they would lose revenue. That it turns out is not true.

I loved the connection and collaboration happening in that room. Women from all over California and a few from out of state were there. Each of them exceeds the average income from real estate by more than double. Women’s Council of Realtors® offers more than just connection, it also offers leadership and education designed to help a Realtor® grow as a professional. The average age of a member is around 53.

I couldn’t help thinking about how many professions don’t offer support like this. Women are expected to find industry professionals on their own to connect with. They have to seek out their own leadership training unless they work at a unique company that offers it. I wish that more organizations that supported women advancing in leadership positions existed. But since there aren’t, we as women need to spend more time on ourselves. There are so many ways we can develop our leadership skills.

The National Association of Realtors® President Elizabeth Mendenhall’s campaign is called, “Own It.” Her intention behind the campaign is that we need to take personal responsibility for our careers and own our power. Her inspirational message that day really made me reflect on what I could own more of. I have always had a Big Voice mindset that I share in my book of the same name, but I have added some things here that Elizabeth inspired.

Own Your Success

We can no longer use excuses as to why we don’t have the time or will wait for tomorrow to start living our best life. The time is now and we either need to admit something is not a priority or start moving towards it.

Own Your Tribe

We must surround ourselves with like-minded women who push us to be our best. If one doesn’t come with your profession, find one, or create one. We must seek out what we need or loneliness or complacency will set in.

Own Your Mindset

Although I reviewed what I believed to be my positive mindset every day, I didn’t realize that I had some internal conflict brewing. When my editor returned the first draft of my book with suggestions for revision, she pointed out that I had written living an extraordinary life and being mindful was not easy eight times, the word “difficult” 51 times, and used the word “hard” 90 times. I was absolutely shocked because I hadn’t realized that my perception internally was that my life and journey were hard. I absolutely feel blessed on a daily basis and lead a good life. I reflected on why I thought it was hard and here is what I came up with:

  1. It is hard being a mom that works and tries to balance it all.
  2. It is hard having a sister that is struggling.
  3. It is hard to live without a mom and an older dad that has a hard time staying happy.
  4. It is hard being single and not having anyone to share life with.
  5. It is hard not having an abundance of like-minded friends in my industry who support one another.
  6. It is hard to accept who I was before.

As I reviewed the six things I realized I had choices that I was missing. I set intentions to change. Obviously, I can’t change my parents or my sister, but there is a lot more I can do. I had secretly been feeling sorry for myself when I had all the power to overcome these things. Needless to say, I have shifted my mindset as a result of being with these women at Women’s Council of Realtors®. Here are the things I am doing to truly “own it” going forward:

  1. Getting super clear on ensuring my time is in alignment with my priorities. I am evaluating every aspect of my businesses and making sure they are turnkey and streamlined. I am devoting more time in learning about something before I delegate or hire someone to do it. The underlying fear of “is this right?” is diminishing as I trust my intuition more.
  2. I am spending more time on what I am grateful about with my family. I am accepting of my sadness and grief, but will transcend it into deeper connections with others. I am blessed to have other women in my life that mother me. I also have friends who are like sisters that support me.
  3. I am so appreciative of my alone time, but haven’t spent enough time appreciating it. I accept God’s divine timing for whenever someone comes into my life. I am also opening myself up to the truth that I can’t spend too much time at home and I need to be more adventurous.
  4. I am seeking out organizations like Women’s Council of Realtors® to join that support my purpose and leadership development. Ironically, at the event I connected with the speaker who has already impacted my life. I know that this has been missing for me and that rather than do anything, I was being passive.

I encourage you to look at your life and find out what you can “own” more. These are things within our control that with intention and a mindset shift we can change. And if you happen to be a real estate professional, join Women’s Council of Realtors® and start growing today!

Goal Setting

“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Napoleon Hill

It’s still the beginning of a new year – you have a new book with about 300 blank pages that you’re going to fill. But fill with what? Are you simply going to scribble your way, jotting a few notes here and there, or recording just the highlights as your parents may have done in your baby book? Or are you going to strive to fill every page, every day with extraordinary, sustainable success stories?

I like to believe that everyone’s ultimate vision is to lead an extraordinary life. By that I mean doing what you love and loving how you do it. The best tool I’ve found for helping you get to an extraordinary life, to have joy in your work, and of course to make the money you want to make is to set goals. Goal setting propels your vision forward. They are the things that allow you to maximize your resources: time, skills, knowledge, passion, etc. Goals are what help you make the most of your life and feel fulfilled with what you are doing.


Goals Need to be Written

When you write out your goals, you’re creating an external representation of your internal desires and reinforcing their value. Setting tangible goals allows you to break the big dreams of your vision into bite-size, achievable steps. But more importantly, goals hold you accountable. They get you out of that “if only” rut that so many of us fall into: if only I had this or if only I had that, I’d be happy. You can’t allow “shoulds” into your vision and you can’t allow “if onlys” into your goals.

Part of goal planning is becoming that person who is joyful and happy today even though you haven’t yet achieved your total vision. Goals allow you to celebrate your successes along the way. Celebrating is important. Celebrating reinforces your commitment. And more importantly, it re-patterns your brain to strive for more successes. To be effective goals should be S.M.A.R.T.

Specific – get exceptionally clear about what you are going to accomplish. The more specific you are the easier it is to accomplish a goal and celebrate it. So rather than saying I’m going to make $200,000 this year, you could say I’m going to contact 30 people in my database each week.

Measurable – set goals that you can measure. If you can’t measure it, then it isn’t specific enough. You can’t celebrate what you can’t measure and you are trying to generate feelings of success. Don’t assume because one of your goals is a feeling, i.e. I want to feel more gratitude, that it can’t be measured. It can. All you have to do is assign your feelings a scale where maybe 1 is I feel no gratitude and 5 is I feel gratitude for everything around me. Each day give yourself a number based on how you feel.

Action Oriented and Realistic – nothing gets done if you can’t take action. Make sure your goals are realistic and within your control. If you have to wait on someone else to do something before you can accomplish your goal then you’re back to relying on “if only.”

Time Sensitive – if something is going to get accomplished it must have a non-negotiable deadline. Set it and hold yourself accountable to it.


Goal Setting Process

Your vision encompasses your entire life, so your goals need to do so as well. You’ll need to balance your goals in four categories: Business, Financial, Health, and Family/Relationships. Make sure that the goals in one category are not in conflict with the goals in another.

So create a couple of short-term (3 months) and long-term (12 months) goals in each category. Next identify the top action steps you’re going to take to accomplish them. Then finally, you need to identify what you want to avoid the most – these are your away values.

Away values are the things that will cause you to self-sabotage and not achieve your goals. Examples of away values might be passivity, perfectionism, or judgement. Write these down next to your goals so you don’t lose sight of them.

I use a simple 4 step process for setting goals in each category.

  1. Make a commitment. No matter what you are committed to these goals.
  2. Identify what you really want. Not what your wife or your boss wants – what do you want?
  3. Recognize why you want it. Let’s say you want to make $20,000 a month – okay why? What difference does this number make in your life? Do you need to pay for a child’s college? Do you need to take care of sick parents? What is the why behind the goal?
  4. Create a plan in order to achieve it. Nothing gets done without an actionable plan. Writing your goals down but not taking action to accomplish them is a waste of time.

Every day I recommend that you review your goals so that they are set deep into your subconscious and conscious mind. At the same time review your away values. Were you able to keep them from interfering in the action steps you needed to take today to achieve your goal? If not, how will you keep them from interfering in the future? It is only when we are vigilant that we are able to re-pattern our brains to lead an extraordinary life and to find sustainable success.