In January I spoke about setting your goals and in February about the difference between motivation and discipline when it comes to attaining you goals. But if it still feels like you’re treading water maybe it’s because your goals are in conflict with one another or the market. What I mean is that you may have a goal for your business that is in direct conflict with a goal you have for your family or maybe because of new market conditions not attainable. For example, your business goal may mean you have to work weekends at open houses, but your family goal is to make more of your daughter’s soccer games which are always on Saturday afternoon. In order to maintain balance and not allow your goals to conflict with each other, it helps to put them in four categories: Business, Financial, Health, and Family/Relationships and reassess your priorities.
You should have a few short-term (3 months) and a few long-term (12 months) goals for each category. You should also have the top action steps you’re going to take to accomplish each goal. Look at your list again. Are any of those action steps in conflict? If they are you’ll either need to revise your goals or find a different way to take action on them. Then finally, you’ll want to identify what you want to avoid the most and the top way that you typically sabotage yourself in meeting this goal. It is completely okay to change what you committed to when the year started.
These are what I call “away values.” They are things you are patterned to do that no longer serve you. For business one of my top away values is being passive. I want to really be able to speak up and move forward, not just swallow whatever I’m thinking in fear others won’t agree. I worry too much about everyone liking me, which is impossible in this business. I need to hold others accountable or take the massive action I need to. Reminding myself everyday that I battle this, helps me push past it to achieve my goals.
Once you’ve re-evaluated your goals and you’re comfortable that they are realistic and not in conflict with each other ask yourself these questions:
Are these really my goals or what is expected of me from my family, my boss, society, or anyone else?
If you can’t answer yes, then the goal is not a good goal and you are setting yourself up for failure. If the goal isn’t coming from your higher purpose, your desire, or what you envision for your life, then you will be lacking the leverage and the dedication required to take the actions that will get you there.
Are these goals aligned with my core values?
For example, if you know you have a core value of balance but you’re working 60 hours a week to reach an unrealistic business goal, then those are going to be in conflict with each other. You’re not going to have the time to nurture relationships if you’re a workaholic.
How much time do you have to allocate to your goals?
Do you actually have enough time in your day, week, or month to accomplish all your goals? Will you be able to prioritize your time to accomplish everything? You want to make sure that the goals you set are achievable.
Does this goal provide the feeling or outcome you want to achieve and will it sustain you long-term?
I always tell the people I coach if your goals aren’t life or death, don’t write them down. You should approach goal setting like, “No matter what I will do (fill in the blank) and I’m going to stop at nothing to get it done! Not taking action on the goals you set is more devastating to your psyche than if you didn’t set them at all.
I like to keep all of my goals in one place so I can easily review them often. I use a journal and each goal has its own page. I’m going to reiterate the importance of reviewing your goals every day. If you do so, you’ll drive the concepts of what you want to accomplish deeper into your subconscious and conscious mind so they become more patterned. I redo my goals every six months and I suggest you should too, especially since our business is one that changes frequently.
For example, let’s say someone’s goal in business is to be more open-minded and connected. Maybe it’s because they realize they’re an asshole – they have a habit of sending nasty emails to people and have combative relationships whether it’s a referral partner, a processor, or a client. When they enter into territory where something goes wrong, their natural response, their path of least resistance, is to be a jerk because they’ve always acted this way. When you are rude or condescending, you minimize the amount of success you have. People will not work as hard for you as they do for people who are kind and grateful. If this person looked at their goals and their away values in the morning, they’d be more intentional that day in terms of not being a jerk. If their goal is to be a kinder person, they can decide in the morning how they are going to do that. Perhaps they could send a gratitude email to every person who made a difference to them the previous day.
I realize not everyone likes to journal. It doesn’t really matter what form you use to keep your goals as long as they are easy to access and you commit to a daily morning review. Some of the individuals I work with have them set up as their screen saver. Others have written them on their bathroom mirror or a poster board at work. I’m sure someone has even made them into an audio recording they can listen to each day. You need to choose whatever works for you and keeps you closer to the life you want to live.